Fall = Pie season.
My go-to pie dough is a variation of Rose Levy Beranbaum’s from The Pie and Pastry Bible. Every once in awhile, I’ll try different dough recipes because I might learn something new from the experience. The most recent recipe I tried though ended up being a total disaster (thanks a lot, internet /sarcasm). It turned out soft and sticky, too difficult to work with. It’s possible that I did something wrong but I read those damn direction so many times. So. Many. Times. Maybe there was a typo?
I thought about throwing out the dough because I just didn’t want to deal with it anymore. I also thought about adding more flour but sometimes it screws up the gluten and makes the dough tough. I ended up cutting-out baby maple leaves because it seemed like a good idea for some illogical reason. As anticipated it ended up looking fucked up, like an apple pie made by a third grader who hated arts and crafts class:
Despite the ugliness, I was pretty pleased with the filling I made so I decided to give it another go. Luckily, I had tons of extra apples, another pear, and an box of emergency pie dough (because I am the kind of person who would keep things like that) so I made another pie.
Forget that pumpkin spice latte. You’re probably tired of it by now anyways. Oh, you’re not tired of it yet? What’s that? You still can’t get enough of pumpkin spice cookies, pumpkin spiced cocktails, your pumpkin spice fragrance, pumpkin spice cream cheese, pumpkin spice gum, pumpkin bagel, pumpkin pie Toaster Strudel*, pumpkin spice Jello shots, pumpkin spice granola, pumpkin spice Hershey candies, pumpkin spice Oreos, or pumpkin spice greek yogurt? NO PROBLEM GUYS! HERE IS MORE. OH YOU’RE WELCOME!
Pumpkin spice cupcakes.
My mom loves shopping. Loves. Whether it’s high-end boutiques or discount stores, she loves them all. In my elementary school years, I always had to tag along on these little adventures and I hated it. Unsurprisingly, I grew up to be a shopping-hating minimalist adult due to all that repressed childhood trauma — I did get lost at a Woolworth’s once. I will have to say though that if it weren’t for these trips, I would have never 1.) been one of Vogue's youngest avid readers (or acquired the ability to quickly identify a Halston dress) thanks to my mom's giant purse of stuff, 2.) learned to haggle, or 3.) been able to figure out how to entertain myself quietly — seeing how many cocktail rings I can put on one finger is something that I still do to this day because I am an asshole sometimes. (Don't worry. I try to put the rings back to their original place even though I do not have a photographic memory.)
Although my mom is a costume jewelry collector and a bit of a clothes horse, her favorite things to buy are actually kitchen gadgets and small appliances. One day, she bought one of those newfangled inventions called…a bread machine. Not quite aware that the bread machine only made loaves, I was excited for it because I was under the impression that you could make things like mantou and stuffed pork buns in it. Sadly, what came out of that thing were the grainy, dense breads like whole wheat and rye. I hated eating this homemade bread crap and I would try to load it up with PB&J because I was already a lunchroom outcast for not having Wonder Bread and Fruit Roll-Ups in my lunch box. Do you know how awful it is to try to trade a whole wheat sandwich for a Capri Sun? You get laughed at.
Now that I’m old and more food experienced, I really like dense breads for various reasons. Sometimes a hearty dense loaf gives a nutty flavor to the sandwich and other times, it compliments the texture of a squishy sandwich with peanut butter and bananas. It’s kind of weird and interesting to think about how our tastes change as we age, don’t you think? I mean, my 8 year old self would be appalled, wondering why I couldn’t just live off of Yan Yan and chocolate Dunkaroos because adults can eat whatever the hell they want.
Today’s recipe post is about rye bread. You’ll encounter some rye breads with all or mostly rye flour but I find these proportions too dense. For this recipe, there’s enough all-purpose flour to soften the flavor and texture but doesn’t overpower the rye. There’s no point in making rye bread if it doesn’t taste like rye.
I have this really annoying bottle of apple pie schnapps that I have been trying to figure out how to use. I figured that if they make a schnapps in this oh-so-very specific flavor then there must be a market out there, perhaps there’s this movement of cocktail-trendsetters who are using it for their new concoctions. Well, it turns out I was so very wrong.
You think that internet would have tons of information and ideas but it was actually unhelpful. A lot of the usage suggestions out there all tell you to take the apple pie schnapps in a shot form of some sort and frankly, I wasn’t inspired or interested by any of that. The cocktail suggestions were even worse. Like really bad. For example, there’s a drink called the “I Like To Drink" which has vodka, gin, Everclear, apple schnapps, whiskey, tequila, moonshine, and something called Slush Puppie. Whoever invented this cocktail had a serious death wish or the burning desire to puke out their insides in one go. Don’t even get me started on "Ass" or "Tree Smacker".
Because I like to keep things classy and simple here on f&f, I decided to combine apple pie schnapps and bourbon. I mean, I think it’s okay but then again, I think bourbon tastes good with a lot of things.